Wellness Wednesdays: Scheduling Happiness
When you look at your schedule or to-do list what do you see?
A list of obligations, appointments, chores, errands, and family and work responsibilities?
Although making these schedules each week may just seem like a mundane, but necessary, task, our calendars and to-do lists actually provide a very interesting record of our lives. They show who we spend time with and what is important enough to occupy the finite minutes and hours of our days.
We may not think that appointments and tasks in a planner reflect our subjective priorities and the things we personally value, but they are definitely a reflection of our objective priorities due to their mere existence on the page.
If we take a moment to examine what is scheduled and given a specific place, versus what we save for “when I have time” or what we try to squeeze into the spaces between our objective priorities, we may begin to think about how our lives might be different if the page looked more like what who we feel we are and what we feel we need to be happy, safe, and satisfied.
If this thought resonates with you, I encourage you to begin scheduling happiness.
We are often told to practice “self-care” and we may even feel it is very important, but if it is not planned for and is not made a priority, it rarely ends up happening. Somewhere in between taking care of responsibilities and other people, we forget to pencil in time for ourselves.
If the idea of scheduling moments of happiness and personally meaningful experiences sounds good, but impossible or overwhelming due to how busy you are, I challenge you to start with something really small and doable.
For instance, I recently advised a client to spend 5-10 minutes each morning practicing diaphragmatic breathing while sitting outside in the sunlight. This small practice takes up very little time and she says it has had a positive impact on her mental health, and how she feels throughout the day. While this may not be true for everyone, there is definitely something meaningful that can be fit into a 10-15 minute block and plugged into your daily routine.
Below, I have included some ideas for simple actions that do not take much time, but that relate to our values and can positively impact mental health. Some people may enjoy scheduling the same activity at the same time each day, while others will want some variety and flexibility in terms of when these activities are scheduled.
Please feel free to share your own ideas or to comment on one of the options that you think you might be interested in trying.
Connection:
Schedule 10 minutes per day to text friends just to check in.
Make a point of holding hands with someone you love for a few minutes each day.
Make or buy a pre-made deck of questions and spend 10-15 minutes per day with your partner, a friend, or loved ones sharing your thoughts about the subject.
Block off an hour to visit with a friend by phone or in person.
Personal Growth:
Schedule 10-15 minutes to read something that inspires you. Reread my favorite parts of an old novel or go to a search engine and type in “inspiring quotes about_______” (whatever you are feeling or thinking about that day} and then spend a few minutes reading and reflecting.
Spend some time on a journal prompt or quick art project. Remember, perfection is not the goal, enjoyment and engagement is what we’re after. You can also double dip and get time reinforcing connections too by doing this with another person or group of people.
Study something that interests you, whether it is a language, a passion project, or just something you would like to know more about or understand better. 15 minutes does not seem like a lot, but consistency adds up and is often more impactful than spending an hour on something once a week.
Mental/Physical Wellness:
Decide what you need for the day—relaxation or energy—and spend 15 minutes imagining a place that provides you with those things. Where is it, what sounds do you hear, what do you feel with your sense of touch and what does your body feel like, what do you smell, what do you see, who is there with you? The more you practice this skill, the faster you get to that place.
Boost your vitamin D, your mood, and your ability to self-regulate by doing paced breathing and getting a little sunlight.
Eat something healthy in a comfortable setting and actually savor the food. Focus on the texture, the taste, the smell, and the appearance, including colors, shapes, and plating.
While none of these things replace visits with doctors or mental health practitioners, taking control of how you spend your time and making yourself a priority can be very empowering and can also help you to make sure your life and your actions align with your values and beliefs
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